Razor With an Edge: Hockey To Football, Football to Hockey: Hey, I Know You

Wednesday, 01.08.2014 / 12:18 PM
Daryl "Razor" Reaugh

Football is over (well, Cowboys, College, and HS football anyway).

And this epiphany is long overdue (Does that even make sense? Can there be an overdue epiphany?...hmmm).

Well, the “this” is a football to hockey analogous cheat sheet for all of you non-cultish hockey-curiositous souls that want a little better understanding of the world’s fastest game.

There are actually some relatively easy parallel lines and juxtapositions connecting the Metroplex’s two physical sports, but remember, because of the nature of the sport of hockey some names show up on offense AND defense (That used to happen back in the day in pigskin too, right? Rayfield Wright? Deion?).

So, I present to you my compendium of FOOTBALLOCKEY for your perusal, and hopefully, enlightenment:

The Quarterback

On the Stars the QBs are:

The Centermen: Seguin, Eakin, Peverley, Fiddler (Not to be confused with a center in football “hut hut” although they both start with the ball). They start play from the faceoffs, play a central role in the offense, are usually highly intelligent playmakers, and shoulder maybe the most responsibility of any player on the ice. And yes, they give the puck to others, occasionally to players in a different colored uniform (Romo).

The Powerplay Pointmen or Half-Wall guys (Gonchar, Goligoski, Seguin, Whitney).

The Running Back

On the Stars: the RBs are the Offensive Defensemen. Yes, the oxymorons. Guys like Daley, Gonchar, Goligoski, and Connauton. This current group is more your Joseph Randle, Lance Dunbar types than the smash and bash style of DeMarco Murray (Or Felix Jones - when they turn the puck over a lot).

Tight Ends

In hockey, they are the power forwards and the “Net Front Guys.” They play physical and are go to guys in hockey’s Red Zone - the low slot: Jamie Benn, Erik Cole, and Alex Chiasson are the puck versions of Jason Witten – without the Kroger and Advocare ads.

Wide Receivers

WR are wingers in hockey (RW and LW). Names like Garbutt and Roussel (with those two, think Wes Welker or Cole Beasley) and Ray Whitney. Val Nichushkin. would be the featured receiver (he could wear 88, Dez) and Jamie Benn, although a tight end above, could easily goes in this group too (he could wear 88, Pearson).

Linebackers

These would be your mobile and aggressive defenders. Brenden Dillon and Stephane Robidas (injured) are both linebacker material and formed the Stars “4-3” defense-ive pair prior to Robidas breaking his leg (or was it 3-4?). Eakin has ginger hair like “All Three Phases” but is actually very Sean Lee like. Roussel, Garbutt, Horcoff and Fiddler during their Penalty Kill work would also fit the mold. If they had a completely useless “LB” he would be called “Bruce Carter.”

Corners and Safeties

Goligoski, Gonchar, Daley, Connauton, Jordie Benn. And yes, they too get burned from time to time.

Guards

Rome, Gaunce. The “Stay at Home Defensemen”

Kickers

Goalies, because they too have no relation to the rest of the game but are often the very reason a team wins or loses: Lehtonen and Ellis are the Stars Dan Bailey

How ‘Bout Them DStars!

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