Razor With an Edge: Hockey To Football, Football to Hockey: Hey, I Know You

Wednesday, 01.08.2014 / 12:18 PM / Razor With An Edge
By Daryl "Razor" Reaugh

Football is over (well, Cowboys, college, and HS football anyway).

And this epiphany is long overdue (Does that even make sense? Can there be an overdue epiphany?...hmmm).

Well, the “this” is a football to hockey analogous cheat sheet for all of you non-cultish hockey-curiositous souls that want a little better understanding of the world’s fastest game.

There are actually some relatively easy parallel lines and juxtapositions connecting the Metroplex’s two physical sports, but remember, because of the nature of the sport of hockey some names show up on offense AND defense (That used to happen back in the day in pigskin too, right? Rayfield Wright? Deion?).

So, I present to you my compendium of FOOTBALLOCKEY for your perusal, and hopefully, enlightenment:

The Quarterback
On the Stars the QBs are:

The Centermen: Seguin, Eakin, Peverley, Fiddler (Not to be confused with a center in football “hut hut” although they both start with the ball). They start play from the faceoffs, play a central role in the offense, are usually highly intelligent playmakers, and shoulder maybe the most responsibility of any player on the ice. And yes, they give the puck to others, occasionally to players in a different colored uniform (Romo).

The Powerplay Pointmen or Half-Wall guys (Gonchar, Goligoski, Seguin, Whitney).

The Running Back
On the Stars: the RBs are the Offensive Defensemen. Yes, the oxymorons. Guys like Daley, Gonchar, Goligoski, and Connauton. This current group is more your Joseph Randle, Lance Dunbar types than the smash and bash style of DeMarco Murray (Or Felix Jones - when they turn the puck over a lot).

Tight Ends
In hockey, they are the power forwards and the “Net Front Guys.” They play physical and are go to guys in hockey’s Red Zone - the low slot: Jamie Benn, Erik Cole, and Alex Chiasson are the puck versions of Jason Witten – without the Kroger and Advocare ads.

Wide Receivers
WR are wingers in hockey (RW and LW). Names like Garbutt and Roussel (with those two, think Wes Welker or Cole Beasley) and Ray Whitney. Val Nichushkin. would be the featured receiver (he could wear 88, Dez) and Jamie Benn, although a tight end above, could easily goes in this group too (he could wear 88, Pearson).

Linebackers
These would be your mobile and aggressive defenders. Brenden Dillon and Stephane Robidas (injured) are both linebacker material and formed the Stars “4-3” defense-ive pair prior to Robidas breaking his leg (or was it 3-4?). Eakin has ginger hair like “All Three Phases” but is actually very Sean Lee like. Roussel, Garbutt, Horcoff and Fiddler during their Penalty Kill work would also fit the mold. If they had a completely useless “LB” he would be called “Bruce Carter.”

Corners and Safeties
Goligoski, Gonchar, Daley, Connauton, Jordie Benn. And yes, they too get burned from time to time.

Guards
Rome, Gaunce. The “Stay at Home Defensemen”

Kickers
Goalies, because they too have no relation to the rest of the game but are often the very reason a team wins or loses: Lehtonen and Ellis are the Stars Dan Bailey

How ‘Bout Them DStars!

SCHEDULE

HOME
AWAY
PROMOTIONAL

STANDINGS

WESTERN CONFERENCE
  TEAM GP W L OT GF GA PTS
1 z - ANA 82 54 20 8 266 209 116
2 y - COL 82 52 22 8 250 220 112
3 x - STL 82 52 23 7 248 191 111
4 x - SJS 82 51 22 9 249 200 111
5 x - CHI 82 46 21 15 267 220 107
6 x - LAK 82 46 28 8 206 174 100
7 x - MIN 82 43 27 12 207 206 98
8 x - DAL 82 40 31 11 235 228 91
9 PHX 82 37 30 15 216 231 89
10 NSH 82 38 32 12 216 242 88
11 WPG 82 37 35 10 227 237 84
12 VAN 82 36 35 11 196 223 83
13 CGY 82 35 40 7 209 241 77
14 EDM 82 29 44 9 203 270 67

STATS

2013-2014 PLAYOFFS
SKATERS: GP G A +/- Pts
C. Sceviour 1 1 1 1 2
J. Benn 1 1 0 0 1
T. Seguin 1 1 0 1 1
T. Daley 1 0 1 1 1
J. Benn 1 0 1 0 1
A. Chiasson 1 0 1 -2 1
C. Eakin 1 0 1 1 1
V. Nichushkin 1 0 1 2 1
R. Whitney 1 0 0 0 0
S. Gonchar 1 0 0 0 0
 
GOALIES: W L OT Sv% GAA
K. Lehtonen 0 1 0 .886 4.07
 
 
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