Razor With an Edge: Hockey To Football, Football to Hockey: Hey, I Know You

Wednesday, 01.8.2014 / 11:18 AM CT / Razor With An Edge
By Daryl "Razor" Reaugh
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Razor With an Edge: Hockey To Football, Football to Hockey: Hey, I Know You

Football is over (well, Cowboys, college, and HS football anyway).

And this epiphany is long overdue (Does that even make sense? Can there be an overdue epiphany?...hmmm).

Well, the “this” is a football to hockey analogous cheat sheet for all of you non-cultish hockey-curiositous souls that want a little better understanding of the world’s fastest game.

There are actually some relatively easy parallel lines and juxtapositions connecting the Metroplex’s two physical sports, but remember, because of the nature of the sport of hockey some names show up on offense AND defense (That used to happen back in the day in pigskin too, right? Rayfield Wright? Deion?).

So, I present to you my compendium of FOOTBALLOCKEY for your perusal, and hopefully, enlightenment:

The Quarterback
On the Stars the QBs are:

The Centermen: Seguin, Eakin, Peverley, Fiddler (Not to be confused with a center in football “hut hut” although they both start with the ball). They start play from the faceoffs, play a central role in the offense, are usually highly intelligent playmakers, and shoulder maybe the most responsibility of any player on the ice. And yes, they give the puck to others, occasionally to players in a different colored uniform (Romo).

The Powerplay Pointmen or Half-Wall guys (Gonchar, Goligoski, Seguin, Whitney).

The Running Back
On the Stars: the RBs are the Offensive Defensemen. Yes, the oxymorons. Guys like Daley, Gonchar, Goligoski, and Connauton. This current group is more your Joseph Randle, Lance Dunbar types than the smash and bash style of DeMarco Murray (Or Felix Jones - when they turn the puck over a lot).

Tight Ends
In hockey, they are the power forwards and the “Net Front Guys.” They play physical and are go to guys in hockey’s Red Zone - the low slot: Jamie Benn, Erik Cole, and Alex Chiasson are the puck versions of Jason Witten – without the Kroger and Advocare ads.

Wide Receivers
WR are wingers in hockey (RW and LW). Names like Garbutt and Roussel (with those two, think Wes Welker or Cole Beasley) and Ray Whitney. Val Nichushkin. would be the featured receiver (he could wear 88, Dez) and Jamie Benn, although a tight end above, could easily goes in this group too (he could wear 88, Pearson).

Linebackers
These would be your mobile and aggressive defenders. Brenden Dillon and Stephane Robidas (injured) are both linebacker material and formed the Stars “4-3” defense-ive pair prior to Robidas breaking his leg (or was it 3-4?). Eakin has ginger hair like “All Three Phases” but is actually very Sean Lee like. Roussel, Garbutt, Horcoff and Fiddler during their Penalty Kill work would also fit the mold. If they had a completely useless “LB” he would be called “Bruce Carter.”

Corners and Safeties
Goligoski, Gonchar, Daley, Connauton, Jordie Benn. And yes, they too get burned from time to time.

Guards
Rome, Gaunce. The “Stay at Home Defensemen”

Kickers
Goalies, because they too have no relation to the rest of the game but are often the very reason a team wins or loses: Lehtonen and Ellis are the Stars Dan Bailey

How ‘Bout Them DStars!

SCHEDULE

HOME
AWAY
PROMOTIONAL

STANDINGS

WESTERN CONFERENCE
  TEAM GP W L OT GF GA PTS
1 z - DAL 82 50 23 9 267 230 109
2 x - STL 82 49 24 9 224 201 107
3 x - CHI 82 47 26 9 235 209 103
4 y - ANA 82 46 25 11 218 192 103
5 x - LAK 82 48 28 6 225 195 102
6 x - SJS 82 46 30 6 241 210 98
7 x - NSH 82 41 27 14 228 215 96
8 x - MIN 82 38 33 11 216 206 87
9 COL 82 39 39 4 216 240 82
10 ARI 82 35 39 8 209 245 78
11 WPG 82 35 39 8 215 239 78
12 CGY 82 35 40 7 231 260 77
13 VAN 82 31 38 13 191 243 75
14 EDM 82 31 43 8 203 245 70

STATS

2015-2016 PLAYOFFS
SKATERS: GP G A +/- Pts
J. Benn 7 4 6 5 10
J. Spezza 7 4 5 1 9
P. Eaves 7 2 3 3 5
P. Sharp 7 3 1 0 4
R. Faksa 7 2 2 3 4
A. Goligoski 7 2 2 -3 4
J. Klingberg 7 1 3 -2 4
A. Hemsky 7 1 3 3 4
C. Eakin 7 0 4 0 4
J. Demers 7 0 3 5 3
 
GOALIES: W L OT Sv% GAA
K. Lehtonen 4 1 0 .925 2.01
A. Niemi 1 1 1 .870 3.36
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